Best wishes to all

The problem: Bad wishes to bad guys
I am sure you already experienced situations in which you felt affected in a negative way by the actions of other people - or you are just worrying about possible negative effects on you.

When people are acting in an irresponsible way on you personally, on particular grouops you belong to or when people are acting antisocial in general then you might wish them bad things (with good reasons). Some people do either create voodoo dolls.

The reason: Reward and punishment thinking style
When we are socialized we get rewarded (sometimes) when we do good and accepted things and we are punished when we act in an antisocial way or if we simply fail doing our services for others.

As we are focused on ourselves in the first line we are often very likely to see a lot of punishment happening to ourselves. So for the sake of fairness and equity we hope (or even trust) that even the others get punished when they are not doing their best. And poor ourselves even often get punished although always doing our best.

Whenever you find yourself wishing other people negative effects then you should be aware of some facts:
  • Wishing the other people bad things does not recover the suffering caused by them already.

  • There is no guarantee that they will learn from the punishment. Often negative effects come with a delay that they either do not really associate them any more with their original actions (and reasons for their actions).

  • Most likely every negative effect that occurs to others might make them angry, anxious or hateful and will again produce negative effects.
The solution: Think realistic and give your best wishes to all.
Wishing bad things to others can be seen in your eyes. Don't evolve that habit because people will feel it and be anxious. And they will fight you because if others have to worry about your bad wishes they also worry that you will punish them for their failures.
  • Help to recover the suffering produced by those people instead of loosing time wishing bad things as there is no guarantee that your wishes come to truth.

  • Help others to learn how healthy things can be done by being a good example.

  • If other people experience love, kindness, helpfulness and cooperation it is more likely that they develop skills like empathy or love themselves. If you hate them they will only respond with hate themselves. Be love and the love will evolve also in the others.
That does not mean that you should show love to people that did harm to other people some minutes ago. The idea is to prevent people from doing harmful things, to help recovering from suffering and to show people how to do healthy actions giving others the opportunity to learn.

Related posts: Inequity, An eye for an eye, Healthy motivation, Stop war by stopping defense, Dissolved aggressiveness, Ethic economy, Importance of collaboration, Best defense.

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