The fool gives way without borders

An old proverb says: The intelligent gives in. This is why idiocy rules the world.

Maybe the reason behind this are the wise words of Bertrand Russell, "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."

I find it to be better for the whole mankind when people solve problems without wasting resources (of any kind). Destroying helpful things or harming people may just produce suffering. So it might definitely not be foolish to give way, as it might still be the second best solution for a problem when the best solution - finding a solution by discussing the problem and finding the logically best solution - cannot be found. When there is a conflict and one party is not willing to make compromises, it is still the more intelligent solution for the other party to give in instead of wasting resources by creating a war (of any type).

War (of any type, be it "just" a legal war, a quarrel or a real war) is wasting energy and resources and in best case it is the third best solution for a problem.

However, raising this rule to the top rule in any case, creates room for the rude and primitive "caveman" behaviour. And here it comes back to idiocy ruling the world.

But this reminds me to the Borg and Star Trek film "First Contact":
Giving in always and forever without setting borders is nearly equivalent to self destruction!

While I like the idea of Myagi, that best defense is not be there (where the hammer hits ;-) ), other than in space, here on earth there is not always much space where to move to be out of the "attack zone".

Related posts: Best defense, There is suffering, The most important things to know, The main purpose, Dissolved aggressiveness.

What remains

During the last months I have seen the effects of dementia - happening to my father in law. We had really good and very funny days. Not only that he cannot remember those days any more, communication can be really a challenge when everything is forgotten in less than a minute.

An interesting and important fact I learned dealing with this situation: The content of any dialog is forgotten pretty soon - but the emotions are remembered way longer!

Not in the same extreme way, but I do notice also in many other situations:
Arguments are ignored or forgotten quite easily, but the feelings, the emotions and the whole mental situation is burned into people's mind quite easily.

So in reality when communicating with other people you should pay more attention at the sensation you are creating than on the content.

You will see, people are not as rational as you believed....

Related post: Emotion and sensation, There is suffering, 6 triggers of bad actions, The wise talk less.

The value of rest and review

I remember a time when my days were less full of action and todos. One habit I had back then was to sit down for about an hour and review the day.

I miss that opportunity to learn each day everything that can be learned from that day. How you look at people when they are telling you something or how you respond; what decisions you take and even what you are ignoring - there is so much that can be improved. But without reflection the chance is so high to make the same mistake a hundred times before even getting aware of a problem.

More than a year of very intensive work has been passed by running at full power and I can't even recall most things that happened.

When running at full speed for too long a few things happen:

• Efficiency and productivity is reduced because
• You get slower
• You get easier distracted
• Getting back to focus gets more difficult
• Frustration about the reduced productivity drags you down even more
• Trying to compensate by drinking more coffee and the like after a while that will just make you nervous but not more productive or simply doesn't work any more.
• Interests drop down sleeping and eating
• Fallback to old well-established core habits
• Health problems
• Headache
• Pain in the back
• Muscle tensions
• Muscle convulsions
• ...

All this makes it quite impossible to grow and instead sooner or later you are exhausted and remain with the brain content of a street dog.

In extreme situations only the habits and philosophies remain that are very well established and implemented.

On the other hand if you have a lot of time and can do everything slowly, you have more control of fine-tuning in everything you do - ranging from your big life-plan (if you have one) to the dialog with the cashier at the local coffee shop. You will be more present and everything will be of better quality. And when you review your day, you can think about situations where you could not get the best out of it and elaborate better approaches. While having enough rest and enough sleep you can even elaborate topics in your dreams.

Related posts: Getting up early and quality, Distractions and sleep, Who cares?, Get focused with 3 questions.

Relicty Mindsets

When I face a problem, I always start digging for the root problem - and - for the reason behind the whole problem branch I went down while searching for the root problem.

Well, this is nothing special and nothing new, pretty every psychologist does that with his/her patients.

What I understand now is: Searching for the reason of a problem is only relevant when the reason is still "alive" - if the source producing the problem is still "leaking".

Here is an example:
If you discover that you have a particular mindset that blocks you from being successful (such as "I am not strong enough, to do this or that" or "I am not intelligent enough for finishing university", ...), you might start digging how the hack you got to this prejudice or convintion.

The first question should be: Is this something old or is this mindset something that still gets fed by continuing (daily) experience?

After you got aware of a blocking mindset, you are already winning. If it is a relict of old times (maybe if you got punched by a stronger highschool peer or whatever) then you can be more efficient by not digging too much into the reasons. The reason is not that relevant any more if the reason has "fallen out" of your life already).

The wise talk less

I cannot tell the origin of the quote "Imagine there is war and nobody is showing up", I heard it several times and in fact I do see war as one of the silliest actions, humans can do. My grandma told me a lot about the second world war, so I have got a few impressions from the time back then. But when I think of war I also think of litigation, quarrel and almost any form of aggressiveness between humans.

For me it is clear that I won't go somewhere to make war or go to someone because I want to litigate. But what comes to my mind more often lately is: What if the war comes to me?

Myagi (in the film Karate Kid) says: "Best defense ... not be there". I mentioned that earlier in the post "Best defense". As I also mentioned there that even being the most peaceful creature, sometimes it may necessary to fight - and - People are way too creative in seeing threats anywhere.

It is very easy to offend people and in fact people feel offended even if it was the last thing you desired. That's why it is so difficult to just make peace.

Lately I discussed this topic with my father and he said: "Even the most peaceful animal starts to fight if it feels cornered." While it is quite easy to get aware when you are physically pushed into a corner, from psychologic, economic or political viewpoint it might be not always easy to distinguish whether you are caught in a dead-end or not.

Even from a distant philosophical or ethical point of view avoiding the fight/quarrel/litigation - and by this accept an aggressor to get closer and overrun everybody else, is not a solution either. The tipping point here maybe is: "Don't avoid fight at any cost."

Fight or war should be however be the very, very last option. In most cases compasion and empathy are the better alternatives. And instead of destroying something it is better to construct something better (which will the worse cause to fade away itself).

Oh, by the way: I discovered, that the more you talk (or write ;-) ) the more you are at risk that somebody gets it wrong what you say and feel offended. Maybe that is a major reason why wise people usually talk less and only talk if they are asked. That way the risk of other people getting it wrong and be offended is reduced.

Related posts: Best defense, Stop war by stopping defense, Little respect, Dissolved aggressiveness, Stake your claim, What remains.

Responsibility and decision

I usually do not have problems taking the responsibility but lately I discovered that I need to be more prudent before saying yes or accepting a new topic thrown at my desk.

I can see it more often lately that people or companies act in a very impertinent manner by discharging themselves from all kind of responsibilities. Basically whatever you buy or whatever service you consume - the full risk is always with you.

Yesterday I got an e-mail from the government asking for a document I needed to add to a proposition. They asked me to send it by fax and the disclaimer said that they are not responsible for any data loss while transmitting the data and that happens at my own risk.

The is one major thing you shouldn't accept: Getting the responsibility without getting the power to decide! - Don't accept a job or project when they don't let you decide but put the responsibility onto your shoulders. That is unfair!

The Debian folks (Debian is a Linux distribution) added a very interesting and true introduction text when you are attempting to run something with adimistrative account/permissions:

We trust you have received the usual lecture from the local System Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:
#1) Respect the privacy of others.
#2) Think before you type.
#3) With great power comes great responsibility.

Very true...

Related posts: Prejudice vs economization, Work intelligently.

Controversal opinion on the 80-20-Rule

Some people tag me being a perfectionist. Reflecting this, I can see three reasons why perfectionism may make pretty good sense - and those three reasons sometimes make me go further than stopping at 80 % (see e. g. earlier post "When to give up"):

1. The 20 % you are leaving out, ignoring or simply not further investigating are often causing 80 % of the troubles you are experiencing later.
   The pareto principle (80-20-rule) is being applied to current status quo without doing risk analysis of the future and here is where this time management tool lacks. I have experienced so many times and spent so much time fighting with big problems caused by tiny flaws in algorithms, strategies or project plans that I learned to think twice before stopping a thing at 80 %.
    
2. Nowadays many products or services are delivered at a quality level according to "good enough" standards.
   Businesses survive today by offering the same product at better price or offering a better quality. If you cannot deliver at best price you must offer better quality. This means to go further than "just being good enough".
    
3. Not to give up often is the key for outstanding results.
   In my work following the 80-20 rules often is applied by following a different path. Mostly, first you try something in a way that would be the most effective, most performant and most elegant way. Then you face troubles, start workarounds and finally choose another way of implementing the desired working result - which of course - then lacks usability or performance. Looking around then you find yourself with results that others may deliver at same or lower price or work. My experience has been that in many cases I did not give up in getting the most elegant solution to work. That often payed off in the long-run only, but with the additional good feeling, that I did it right.

Of course, there are plenty of situations where the 80-20-rule is useful. It's just - the exception proves the rule.

Related posts: When to give up, Information Overflow, Principles over Rules.