Fool me once...

Lately I heard a phrase the first time that fits very well to the core purpose of my blog:

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

This means basically, that you should learn immediately to not tap into the same trap a second time.

A core message of my blog is that the first time something happens can be an accident, the second time you should start searching for the patterns to solve the problem and with the third time the problem could already be solved.

Everybody tells that making mistakes is normal. At least you should learn from it. - There are things you should learn immediately and there are things that need another happening to get the lesson. And other cases are "well documented" - so you should never suffer of those - learning from others that already failed.

Learning the life's lessons is essential. Whatever you experience, you should use it to improve your habits. Do not just try to improve, but dedicate a part of your time to learning from your experiences.

As quoted on the Positivity Blog in "Yoda's Top 3 Word of Wisdom": Do or do not... there is no try.

Related posts: Will to change is not enough, Find the root problem.

Create consensus

I was in the train on the way home. A girl was sitting in some distance (the train was quite empty). She was reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

She has put her legs on the seat in front of her and she was wearing
earphones. She either didn't look up and around once in a while and had her hair falling over her eyes. I did not read that book but I wonder if this is the right way to make friends? - Well, maybe this is exactly the reason why she reads that book. ;-)

However, it reminds me to a meeting last week where I noticed statements aimed at totally different goals.

My conclusion of such experiences is: Many people do not notice how contrary their own talking, their goals, their behavior - yes, their complete character is.

How can we find consense in this world when either a single person can't find consense?

I understand that it is difficult sometimes to find a homogeneous style of living in modern times, but we should watch our most obvious visible contradictions in our behavior.

Related posts: Between short and long term goals, Masked rot.

Razor sharp focus

While the economy is undergoing essential changes - which by the way seems to be necessary for this world - you also might want to realign some core elements in your life.

The problem: You are unsure about directions and tend to be undecided.
Especially when many parameters in the environment are unsure many people tend trying to do "business as usual", to follow known rules and well prepared paths. But many of the well known paths and proven strategies now even do not seem a really good choice. What then often happens is that people do switch priorities and goals very often - try this and that and be erratic in their behavior.

The reason: You are full of worries and slightly entering panic mode.
Over the years many things adjusted to each other somehow (more or less automatically). Bigger changes in the environment now do disturb the balance in a significant way. Arising fears are a natural effect. But you should deal with them properly.

The solution: Get informed, dedicate to creativity and evaluation of new ways, choose and focus.

• Analysis
  Open your eyes and look around - get informed about what is going on around you.
  
  
• Creativity and Evaluation
  Take yourself time to excavate your creativity, evaluate possible solutions and new ways.
  
  
• Choose and focus
  Choose between your alternatives, choose a few important new goals and priorities - this might not be always clear from the arguments. In case of doubt follow your inner voice - your gut feeling.
  Then focus on the very few important new goals and priorities. Command yourself with the words "Razor sharp focus!".
  To have all your priorities served remember to give enough time to each and be patient with step-by-step improvements. Don't expect the fast and big success - "Constant And Never-ending Improvement" is the wise way.
  What then happens while on your way is that you will get critics - this is natural and there might be new arguments, but if you did the analysis and evaluation right then you can be sure that a few critical words of others are not really a reason to change your decisions!

Related posts: Information Overflow, Focus by decision, Focus by direction, Know better and act on it, Total cost of commitment, Time bandits, Why not multitasking how to, Slowing down.

Tell not more and not less

Reading personal development blogs I often read that you should reduce the amount of words you write and say sticking to the kernel message.

And they are right because of a simple argument: Nobody wants to spend a long time reading and listening in times of information overflow. This is reason enough to reduce the text in your mailings and phone calls.

But be aware of reducing too much! - Many people are very quickly in adding interpretations where they lack information.

Here is a sample conversation via SMS a faced two days ago:

A: I would like to pass by for a short talk. Do you have time now or are you busy?
B: After 9:45

Person A interpreted the response that B has time after 9:45 and is busy now (maybe because of the short response). A passed at 10:30 and found B busy because B meant "After 9:45 I am busy".

What has to be said must be said - not more and not less!

Wrong interpretations others get from your information can be very dangerous!

Related posts: Blog post lengths or how to write, Information Overflow, The time bandits, Importance of collaboration, Hot air.

How to rebuff somebody

The problem: You feel considering others so much while others do not really contribute.
When conflicts arise I do have very often the feeling, that I am the flexible one, I am the one considering others and reducing my own desires and needs. Looking around I can see there are those type of persons who have the general habit of requesting others to change and on the other hand those who somehow mostly become the "victim".

The reason: You are flexible and agile which makes it less effort needed if you change.
While working on your personal development (consciously or not) you may have cultivated skills like flexibility, creativity, humility and so on. You might have commit to change.

Now, when there is a problem or conflict, it is often very hard work and difficult for people to climb-down, change or simply just consider a little bit the others. Mostly people are focused on themselves and their own goals.

So, if you learned flexibility others do notice that and know (consciously or not) that for you it will only be small effort to change for you and they often do not have any idea (if they are willing) how they could solve the problem themselves.

The solution: Suggest how they can solve the problem themselves.
As you are flexible and creative you could help out with proposals how they can solve the problem themselves.

Just to give a sample: When somebody feels disturbed by you being too noisy while there is at least one door (of office or bedroom) that can be closed, you could suggest to close the door when that somebody wants to have silence.

Another sample: When discussing a concept for a project with a customer there might be requests that are complicated to implement, but with a small change in the customers processes the whole project could be a lot easier to implement (and therefore also gets cheaper).

The point is: When others request solutions from you (and they can be very persistent in requesting that you solve the problem), you can sometimes solve the problem simply by pointing out how they could solve the problem easily.

So you solved the problem without retreating yourself which also means that you can handle the problem as solved. It is not an open issue for you any more.

Related posts: Between GTD and GHE, The time bandits, Efficient meetings, Stop the service, Stake your claim, Let'em wait.

Crappy guesswork

I have heard it in a film one time, but lately made a view little experiences that confirm that:

At the beginning of a disaster there is always crappy guesswork.

So remember to

• Stick with the facts.
• Do well the analysis.
• Detect the weak points in your concepts.
• Listen rather than persuading others with your opinion.
• Before making an assumption think twice whether it is really needed or probably better to find out by investigating or asking people.

Related posts: Detect the weak point, The mismatch problem, Information and Experience, Plan to get fear done.

Importance of collaboration

This morning listening to the news I heard that there is the first case of swine flu arrived in Austria. They told that the person is in hospital already getting better.

The swine flu teaches us about the importance of sharing information and collaboration around the world!

Nowadays due to global traffic illnesses can spread out easily getting pandemic. Without the traffic illnesses would spread slower and the radius in which sharing of information and cooperation is that important may be smaller, but anyway: If something of big relevance happens (and that is not necessarily to be an illness, it can be any experience and knowledge that is gained), the effect sooner or later shows up somewhere else in the world too. And it is not only the traveling humans, it is also wind, water or animals that is keeping things moving.

When talking about "something of big relevance" I am talking - besides of illnesses - of any health related effects (electric smog or other emissions, used ingredients in food, ...) and also of technical inventions that reduce our footprint or even political movements, philosophical views and all kind of things that can help improving the world but also can cause very negative impacts.

Although I do not agree with many actions that have been taken globally to fight the economic crisis there is one important thing that people have realized: There must be global solutions!

Collaboration is a word that is widely used as a buzzword - first of all in IT business, but we have to realize that collaboration means in detail the need of:

• communication skills
• intention and desire of making everybody happy
  
• willingness to contribute to the community
  
• viewing at the whole
  
• being open minded
• mastering of the tools to do collaboration
  

The fate and fortune of the whole world is related to the fate and fortune of the single individual!

Related posts: The main purpose, Best wishes to all, An eye for an eye, Tell not more and not less.