Best defense

I am thinking myself of being a peaceful guy. At the same time I believe to be a sincere person.

I realize that by being sincere it is hard to completely avoid creating aggression within others. But anyway, even if I try to avoid creating aggression at any cost, I can't. People are way too creative in seeing threats anywhere.

So solving the problem in the very beginning - by not creating aggression - is quite impossible. So one has to think about defense.

And the best defense is ... not be there (said by Myagi in Karate Kid).

I am quite sure that this is not always a convenient solution - not always feasible. But imagine people attacking you personally and imagine you are getting your self-confidence from somewhere else so the attack is not going to hurt you. Or imagine another company that is fighting you by producing cheaper than you. If you are innovative and can offer additional services or already newer, improved product then you moved to higher quality and the weapon of your opponent is simply obsolete.

Your first emotional action might be to defense yourself, your properties or your ideas even. Already the words "resistance" or "defense" come along with the feeling of effort and struggle. Getting yourself out of the fireline with a small step to side is often much more efficient and effective. Keep this in mind, before arming up for defense. However, when you know how to move out of the fireline you will also know when to stand up and fight - sometimes it can be necessary.

Related posts: An eye for an eye, Stop war by stopping defense, Little respect, Best wishes to all, Dissolved aggressiveness.

The productivity trap

The problem: Attempts to increase productivity and efficiency finally do not bring the big success.
When starting or pushing your personal development, strategies to increase productivity and efficiency are usually some essential parts. While it is important to find out where you waste time something is missing.

The reason: It is not the amount of work or the amount of results that counts.
It is not the amount (however you are trying to get your results into numbers) and neither the quality of the results that make things or people successful. Some people seem to do just one thing and have success.

The solution: WHAT to do and HOW to do is more important than the amount of things you achieve.
Imagine a person working hard to develop a new method to produce candles more efficiently and then the electric light bulb is invented and the candle sales go down drastically. This is the reason why industrial spying is undertaken by companies for example (at least I think this is a major reason). Because it is extremely important that you are doing the right things the right way!

And this means:

1. Do good analysis
2. Decide wisely on what to do
   
3. Do it the right way (in the means of how it creates the best benefit for the user/customer)

Related posts: Razor sharp focus, Dynamic activity, Speed, High quality needs time, Get focused with 3 questions.

New year decisions

Last year at this time I read a lot about new year's resolutions and why people mostly fail in implementing them.

Reasons why they fail are for example:

• Lack of a step-by-step plan to implement (re)solutions.
• Missing milestones/control/verification points (just once a year doing a check is not enough).
• Bad analysis in why the old habits were there - implementing a new habit instead of an old one works better if the new habit is also solving the old problem(s).
• ...

So the point is, that just from one day to the next you will hardly be able to change your life or your habit(s) respectively. The best approach for changing your life is to plan several different goals and step-by-step programs for implementation. But this is done mostly during "normal" - continuous - personal development.

Dedicating time to personal development just once in a year is clearly not fruitful.

But anyway I do consider the new year's eve a good opportunity to look back at the last year, build a summary and do some focus decisions for the next year. Writing the old year's number for the last times or writing the new year's number for the first times is somehow something special that let us feel a cesura - it causes us to pause for a moment or at least creates a good environment to do so.

It is the same as in project management: Milestones should not be too distant from each other. Points of control should be often enough to ensure you are on track but there should be enough time between to have the chance finish some implementation (attempts).

I find new year's eve not the best time to break with old habits as during the last weeks of the year most people tend to find more stress than less. Thinking about and implementing new habits for me works better during and after longer (summer) vacation.

On the other hand new year's eve for me is a good time to think about a (possible but not necessarily "new") focus for the next year and take some (maybe already overdue) decisions. This will help you in your daily decisions already in the first days of the year. Just having the desired focus in mind masks irrelevant information making your life easier. And it avoids making commitments that do not support your life plans but take effect later during the year (so you don't notice immediately).

I wish you a successful 2010 with good decisions and razor sharp focus.

Related posts: Razor sharp focus, Information overflow, Focus by decision, Focus by direction.

Needs and Meaning

I did not write for a while due to several reasons. First I invested a lot of private time into building technical knowledge slightly different from my daily work. That held me back from writing more posts already earlier, but sometimes such is necessary if you want to grow - see also "Knowledge is freedom".

The second reason is the birth of our second son. Unfortunately after the first two weeks it turned out, that he has a tachycardia and needed to stay under intensive care. A few days ago we got him back home with medication and a heart monitor.

What I learned from this recently:

• Luck, happiness and healthiness is fragile.
  When he was born I was so happy to have two sane children. Now I know how fast that can change. - I should already know this very well - everything is fleeting...
  
  
• Replace worrying with real risk management.
  When situation is bad we are full of sorrows and when everything is fine we actually need to worry about our properties and health fading away. So we could spend our life worrying all the time or simply stop it because anyway it does not make anything better. This is not to be put together with not being aware! - We should be aware of potential risks and problems! We should do our best to act healthy and ethical! But plain worries focus just on all the possible bad results without real risk management and taking any action - so our day-to-day repeating worrying really does not make any sense.
  
  
• Maslow is quite right with the hierarchy of needs.
  
• Viktor Frankl was quite right also.
  He has written about man's search for meaning and developed the logotherapy. He basically states that we can discover meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing a value – nature, a work of art, another person, i.e., love; (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.
  
  
• Be thankful for every help you get.
  Especially doctors often have a negative image, but they really can save your life (or in our case the life of our son).

Related posts: Biggest worries, Knowledge is freedom, The most important things to know, All done status, There is suffering.

Biggest worries

One of my biggest worries always was to get the children born healthy and sane. Now, with the birth of our second child I am very happy and thankful that both are well.

Thinking of the family I do notice that it is extremely important to me that my loved ones stay well - healthy, sane and happy.

But the other very, very important thing mostly underestimated while everything runs (still) fine: Having a job is a key major need and doing a good job is the best insurance of keeping it.

Remaining without a regular work / day job is one of my key worries. It is a requirement to get settled with your family and have enough money/resources for food, roof, clothes and medical support.

The next biggest worry is that my loved ones get ill, rubbed or knocked down for example. I want to know them being sane and save. Having a good job and enough income is a key requirement to get everything needed for a living.

Although quite logical and most should know, sometimes I have the impression that people's life is so full of things that the most primary priorities lack attention...

Related posts: The most important things to know, Knowledge is freedom, Needs and meaning.

Knowledge is Freedom

You might have noticed that I currently do less posts on this blog lately. This is not due to less interest or that I don't have opportunities to learn general lessons of life. - The reason is: I am in a heavy upgrade of my knowledge in the branch of my main profession - the IT.

In relation to that I want to point out some general important considerations:

1. Knowledge is creating/increasing job security!
   In a downturn many people fear to get laid off. People with a high level of knowledge simply have a higher value for a company (if the knowledge is not just focused in a very limited area - although even this can make sense).
   
   
2. Knowledge is creating more options!
   Expanding your knowledge is opening your mind to other - new - things in general. Especially when gathering knowledge in other (completely) new areas you get a more complete view of the world. You begin to see more and more options: More options to solve a single problem, more job opportunities, more benefits and even risks - that all helps you to find your way in life that fits best for you.
   
   
3. Knowledge is boosting creativity and efficiency!
   Especially when you get more knowledge in very different areas of life you are increasing your creativity because of the linking of different approaches taken in different branches or areas. For instance physicians often look at biology to find more efficient solutions in their realm. By getting more creative you also find better options for using your time efficiently.

There are some side effects of knowing much that you may like, such as:

• When learning you have the opportunity to get in touch with other people.
• Your opinion is appreciated when people begin to notice that you know much.
• You get more self-esteem and feel more inner security.
  

Some of the challenges are:

1. Work-Life-Balance
   To get more knowledge often implies that you have to gather that outside of your daily job - in the evenings, nights or early mornings. While the family can often understand that for a while, you most likely get into trouble, if it gets usual that you spend your spare time more working than dedicating to your family.
   
   
2. Overwhelming amount of knowledge
   The more you know the more you get aware how tiny your knowledge is. There is not enough time to gather and learn all available knowledge (not talking about the not-yet-available knowledge). So: You have to choose wisely what to learn to not waste your time!
   
   
3. Efficiency in learning
   There are several different approaches to learn something new: Read books, ask experts (coaching), take courses, play around and try (experiment), ...
   Attending a course is not always the wisest choice, especially if you want to offer a unique service or product as a follow-up. In many cases, if you want to be at the frontline of some new technology or movement there is either not much offer in courses or books.

Related posts: The most important things to know, Transferable know-how, Hunting for degrees, Information overflow, Show respect to the team, What to learn from the Borg, Biggest worries, Needs and meaning.

Peoples history

It happens so easily that we label other people being idiots or behaving in a strange way. A broad minded way of looking at others is often missing and we are often not very "fault-tolerant" when it comes to our social living.

Just to give an example: How often does it happen that you drive by car and find yourself arguing about others in front or behind you doing stupid maneuvers?

Usually we look at people (or even on everything else also) in a quite limited way. While labeling others we put our own limited view and experience onto them and on this poor base we start with heavy interpretation and wild guessing.

But we usually know very little to nothing about the personal history and experience of others (even of our friends and neighbours)!

Prior to labeling and criticizing others we should do a lot of listening and asking for reasons! Maybe we can learn a lot!

Related post: Crappy Guesswork.