Stop the service

The problem: People loading you with work.
Many like to be important and many do hard work at lower levels. For both the opportunity of being a manager is sugar on their ego. Those who usually do hard work at lower levels are often argued if something is not done (fast enough). They like it if they can play the other role once a time.

What I am talking about here is not (necessarily) boss related. There are a lot of other people also trying to load you with work who are on equal level as you are.

And the worst what than can happen: They complain that you are not performing enough.

Such situations usually cause anger and litigation with collegues, family members (yes even your wife/husband or even children can load you with a lot of work).

The reason: They got used to your assistance, your helping hand, your support.
People find out quickly from whom they can get easy help to solve their issues. Those who have a helper syndrome are easily found by those who are looking for patronage. And people like it to be helpful and to achieve a lot of goals. But this can exhaust your power.

The solution: Stop the service.
I do not mean that you should refuse any support completely. But from time to time it is important to set or raise the limits - for you and also for the others. This is different from learning how to say "No" because the problem I am talking about is usually addressing something you already accepted somehow earlier and you get utilized. Maybe you accepted to give a little help and slowly the issue grows up. So you are already in the middle of something.

If you just stop when a thing grows too big and you feel to get utilized then others get the opportunity to notice their exaggerated request for your support.

When to temporary refuse: When family members or important colleagues are asking too much in too few time then usually a temporary refuse is the appropriate action. Retreat for a while and use the time for relaxing, personal development or for your hobby. Depending on how penetrating people are demanding your services the longer you should refuse.

When to completely refuse: Some people might simply got used to the fact that you are a friendly person always trying to help. If they do not play an important role in your life and you are not expecting a big change in this then it is better to stop completely supporting them if they get too cumbersome and annoying.

It is always better to simply stop the service than quarreling and arguing about your occupation and engagement!

Related post: Setting borderlines, Stake your claim, How to rebuff somebody, Scoundrel days, Productivity limits, The family.

No comments: