Hands full

I already talked about the advantage of putting things in pockets to have your hands free to open doors etc (see Hands free).

Now, as I had to carry a lot of luggage in the last weeks and as I am changing flat in the next weeks I see that a free hand is wasted efficiency. Currently I am living at the third floor without elevator so if I would try to keep a hand free I would have to go double the times up and down. This does not mean that the "hands free" idea is now forgotten - no - I try to put everything into boxes and pockets as much as possible. More, I can put one into the other more "available capacity" still there.

So the "Don't go empty" idea is used in combination but even more:

You can put a backpack on your back and another one on your belly. In addition to that you can hang backs diagonal over your shoulders.

Butt attention: You have to take care that all together is not becoming too heavy. Take this into consideration when planning your way to or from the car. Combine heavy and lightweight things.

When you stoop remember to go down in the knees and not by bending your back!

Related Posts: Hands free, Don't go empty

Work Life Balance

A few years ago I noticed the abbrevation WLB and read about Work Life Balance in a journal. Recently reading other blogs I have the impression that this topic is now discussed more often.

What is work-life-balance? When is the balance achieved? How can you measure it?

When you life in a way that does not increases frustration, decreases motivation and cause your power to exhaust over time - so if your life style can be lived long term keeping the wellness - then you achieved work life balance.

That does not mean that everybody has the same requirements in hours for privacy, sports and work. Although many emphasize the importance of not working too much I find it also important to have a work that fits my strengths and that I can have the feeling of doing something that is worth it. Unemployed people are even less happier. But indeed it is important not to exhaust your power.

Get a feeling for the charge level of your batteries. But keep in mind that the batteries are not only consumed when you work and charged when you sleep. It sometimes can also be the opposite.

Related post: Why not work too much

The time thieves and real news

Especially in (but not limited to) the IT business one get flooded with news and you feel that you can specialize only on a small part of the IT world because the field is so large.

But I am now working more than 12 years in the IT business and especially in the last years I feel especially flooded with new technologies and products. What I find really annoying in the meantime is: It takes me a lot of time to investigating new announcements to discover nothing really new and epoch making. My time is stolen by others managing to get my attention for nothing of real interest.

The worst is that things on the first view seem to be attractive - well that's what products and services should be, but only on a closer look (and often some time intensive investigations and tests - especially in the IT business) you can identify that the product is some sort of "yet another ...".

It is the same with publicity in TV: I usually do not buy the things for which is done most publicity. Why? - Because they are usually not so good. Good things do not need publicity, because people spread the word.

Similar applies to news. There is a lot of low quality news that is just publicity.

Focus by decision

The problem: There is too much to be done or too much information to be processed.
Information overflow is a very present problem and it often comes bundled with the need of more efficiency and more stress. More has to be achieved with less effort and less resources.

The reason: Your scope is too big.
You are working on a too big area or on to many areas. The reason for too much activity on too many fields can be unsureness, forecast uncertainty or an uncompleted analysis phase.

The solution: Make decisions.
Prioritize by selecting a few of your possible goals or the areas that are most interesting or seem most important to you. If you have difficulties in finding decisions keep in mind that a decision does not mean that you never can turn back and go another way. But on the other hand decisions should not be revised every day. To avoid frequent change of decisions and priorities do invest time in a good preparation that allows to make a good decision:

1. Analyze the situation.
2. Extract problem zones.
3. Set priorities.
4. Collect information to get an overview.
5. Evaluate possible solutions, side effects and risks.
6. Let sink in the information.
7. Collect more detailed information where necessary.
8. Calculate effort and costs.
9. Make a decision.

A good prepared decision will be a good decision in long term view and will not be influenced during your all-day-work. This is important because if you are unsure in what you are doing your focus will get easily lost and distractions are welcome to rescue you from your dilemma.

Related posts: Focus by direction, Principles over rules, Direction over goals, Razor sharp focus, Analysis and therapy, New year decisions, Considerations on decisions, Team meeting with yourself.

As it would be the last day

The problem: Sometimes it is difficult to decide about the current priorities.
In your life you are playing a lot of roles, for example lover, father/mother, son/daughter, photographer, co-worker and many other. There are a lot of locations and situations where you come to action. World becomes more complex (at least it seems to - maybe only because there is more information flowing ;-) ) and it seems that there are plenty of things that should be done.

The reason: The overwhelming amount of to-dos, ideas and information.
The mass blocks the view to the main things in life.

The solution: Think of the day as it would be the last from time to time.
Some years ago I read somewhere that one should live every day as it would be the last. I thought about that but I came to the conclusion that this is not adequate because there are several realms in your life that require long term view and planning. For example to evolve strong relationships or if you are going to marry you need to create a feeling of confidence and constancy. Or even in your work for your customers it is important to have continuity and stability. Because of these reasons it is important to make long term plans and do long term thinking. And it also would not be realistic to see every day as the last because in most cases it is not true that the day is your last.

However, some day will be the last or something else big happens (an accident for example) that changes the situation and your abilities drastically and then you might ask yourself if you set the right priorities in your life.

It is adequate to think "as it would be the last day" from time to time. At least when you are not sure about the priorities to set for the next day or next week.

Related post: Between short and long term goals.

Why not work too much

I worked a lot in the past two months. Although I managed a lot by "simply" working longer which definitely could not have been solved using only the normal working times there are several reasons why working very much should really be an exception:

• Working too many hours on and on simply causes more errors.
• Creativity is decreasing with the hours awake without pauses and the days of continued stress.
• View is narrowed with the hours awake and days of continued stress.
• Nervousness is increasing if you do not sleep enough.
• Working too much for too long is an attack at your health.

So to summarize it: Working too hard for too long is shortening your lifetime and decreasing your efficiency. So this should really be an exception in emergency cases.

Respect by attention

The problem: People feel forgotten or treated without respect because you forgot those small favors they asked from you.
I am sure you know it: Your girlfriend/wife/colleague asked you for a little favor and you forgot it although you definitely like them and want to fulfill their requests.

The reason: You are somewhere else with your thoughts and not completely present.
In most cases when you are asked for a little favor you are asked while you have something completely different in mind. And actually your first and only brain wave is that thinking of that favor is not important now.

The solution: Pay full attention when your beloved ask you for a favor and set exclamation marks in your thought.
Bear it in your mind what you are asked for and set a date and time (also in your mind - not only in your calendar). Build memory aids that create links to that to-do. Be present with your mind and soul. Then return to your current work. Only if you really got it you have planned that in your mind to do it.

Related post: The present moment, Show respect to the team, Unattended mode.

This can be used as a weapon

Many years ago I traveled with my family to the USA and we met very nice friends there. They showed us how to play baseball and when leaving they presented us a baseball bat as a gift to carry home. As the bat was too big to put into the normal luggage we went to carry it with us onto the plane. Arrived a stewardess stopped us with the words "this can be used as a weapon" and told us that they will take it and send us by post. Since this it happens sometimes that I remind those words.

Lately I talked to a few people who worry about leaving their footprints somewhere in the web and therefore participate only very few on forums or weblogs. What this has to do with the story above?

Well, in my opinion a lot of things and words can be used as a weapon. And no matter if you are a person getting active or if you stay passive some people could use your behaviour against you.

And on the other hand: A lot of things and words can be used to improve the world and help others. Introducing positive elements is more important than avoiding negative elements.

Let me give an example: If you participate on the web there could be bad guys sending you more spam, hacking your account and post harmful texts in your name or other things producing negative effects. But on the other hand you can use the web to expand your network, find friends, help other people or even get a well-known professional on the web.

Whatever you fear, take into consideration that usually everywhere are risks AND opportunities. Keep in mind that you do not live from avoiding negative but from producing and getting positives - like a good coffee, intensive good work, a pretty woman or a good glass of wine.

Take your choice.

What is reality?

One of the most important things towards a balanced life is to get a realistic view of the world.

Sure, the effect of experiences has a lot to do with how you take it and from your interpretations - but anyway life manifests every day and there are things that exist however you name it.

Today the sun is shining and we went out for a walk. No matter if you like sun or not or whether you like sun in winter and hate it in summer and not matter if "sun" should be named different - if the sun is shining it's shining that's a fact.

There are philosophies or science fiction films that suggest the consideration that everything could also be an illusion only.

But what is the difference between reality and illusion? How to unveil an illusion?

While growing up you get ideas of the world - on how or what reality is. As long as it is only an unproven idea without feedback of the world/nature it is only an idea and not reality.

How to prove:

• See it with your eyes
• Hear it with your ears
• Smell it with your tongue
• Sniff it with your nose
  
• Sense it with your body
• Feel it in your heart
  
• Research it with scientific tools

How to detect illusions:

• If you suffer there might be an illusion the reason for your suffering.
  
• If you find yourself in behaving automatically in some manner and you suffer by the effects you get then it is time to analyze the situation and get a new view.
• If you experience different effects in same environments behaving the same way then there might be a hidden illusion.
• If other subjects suffer less than you then you should start to improve by unveiling illusions.
• Communicate with others.

How to unveil illusions:

• Criticize your current view.
• Search for reasons.
  
• Analyze your motivation.
  
• Search for new aspects.
  
• Analyze the situation.
• Set in relation the situation with the rest of the world.
• Act and experience the results.
  

What all the points above have in common is the opportunity of asking a lot of "Why?"-Questions. Try to find and answer a lot of such questions.

Your whole life can be seen as a journey to truth and reality and don't expect to arrive before you die. But never getting in action and proving the results will not push you towards truth and reality.

Having ideas about rules of nature and the world is an important step to bring you towards truth and reality. While ideas about rules may not be the last step to wisdom it is a useful first step.

Detach facts and risks from fears and from decisions

In the post Michael Jordan’s Guide to Shooting for the Stars at The Positivity Blog I read today:

When you are actually out there, be detached from outcomes.

“I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot . . . when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.”

Well, while in sports it might fit the needs I would take care of applying that rule to the rest of life.

It is good looking at the consequences because all the actions you perform will have their consequences and knowing the consequences before would often lead to other decisions.

Thinking of (possible) consequences does include thinking of negative results. If you think of a failure in general as an opportunity to learn then failure is never considered in a negative way and positive experiences will be the "only" harvesting the fruits of earlier improvements.

When thinking of negative results produces negative feelings and fears then you should separate first the facts then think of the risks. In the next step analyze your fears coming along with thinking of the risks. Last but not least take your decisions when you can have a detached view so that you do not feel so emotionally involved.

GTD - E-Mail Folders or Tags

The problem: You lose a lot of time by reading again and again the same e-mails.
You know the problem that you are browsing through your e-mails looking on which you need to respond or on which you have to do something and while reading a lot of subject lines and opening some mails because you don't remember well what's in it you remember that you already looked at that several times?

I did not know that I have that problem until I knew of the GTD folder sytem and then observing my own behavior and impressions while reading my mail.

The reason: Growing inboxes and the amount of e-mail arriving let you loose the overview.
You looked at your mails only 10 minutes ago and you remember that the second mail in your inbox was important and needs action. Then the phone rang and you gave a short information but now some other mails arrived and you have to search again that important e-mail. Your inbox is a very dynamic thing and to retain the overview is difficult.

The solution: Simple GTD folder system.
Until a few days ago I avoided introducing GTD folders because in my opinion it was too complicated because of too many folders. Then I read that people using simplified systems and so I tried with these:

1. Action ... All the mails that needs an action - so I have to do something
   
2. Waiting ... I am waiting for a response or some action and confirmation of others
   
3. Hold / Reference ... Mails I probably need later when working on the things in the action folder.
4. Later ... Not so important but interesting things I want to look at when is time.
5. Current ... Archive of the current year (subfolder for each client - or project - as it fits better to your business).
6. Archive ... Archive of the older years (subfolder for each year and then for each client - or project). If you are using Outlook you should export the older e-mails should be exported to a PST file on the disk (on your server home drive). If you have a Linux based mail server then usually it doesn't mind and you can keep everything on your server always available (even using the webmail).
   

I actually named them including the number prefix to have them in actually this order.

For every e-mail that needs longer operation I do put an entry to the calender and move the mail to the "Hold / Reference" folder. Only the mails with smaller amount of work for the time "in between" or for the time dedicated to e-mail replying I put into the "Action" folder. This is to prevent double occurrence of to-do items (in action folder and calendar).

So I use the combination of calendar and simplified GTD folder system and to prevent from double "reminders" e-mails with a short work are kept in the action folder and every longer work will be scheduled in the calendar putting the e-mail to the reference folder or copying the text directly to the calendar (archiving the original mail).

Depending on your job you might face different types of e-mail conversations:

• More e-mails producing lesser work
  In this case schedule larger time blocks for "responding to e-mails".
  
  
• Less e-mails producing more work.
  If this is the case then define each e-mail as a single task and schedule a time block for each e-mail.
  
• More e-mails belonging to few "topics", "issues" or "tasks".
  Group them to the tasks or projects where they belong (have appropriate subfolders in your archive folder) - put only the main e-mail that actually triggers the work (e.g. a final confirmation within a longer e-mail thread) to the action folder and the rest to the Hold / Reference folder (or archive them if all the relevant information is already included in the e-mail containing the decision).

Hear the naysayers

In life hacking blogs I often read that you should avoid negative people. Lately I read such a recommendation again at Life Optimizer. The last paragraph states:

15. Get rid of naysayers

While gathering around enthusiastic friends can energize you, gathering around naysayers will do the opposite: they will take away whatever positive energy you have. So avoid them at all costs. Of course, sometimes you need to reach out to them, but be sure that you energize them and not they take away your energy. You should always be open to constructive criticism, but avoid people who just make you down without giving constructive feedbacks.

I say: Hear what the naysayers have to tell. Let them draw the worst case scenarios for you. There are three reasons for them to be negative:

• They locate problems and pitfalls - they see difficulties achieving the particular goal.
• They fear the results - they worry about the changes that your actions may bring.
  
• They want to achieve the goal themselves - and they want to make you down because they want to get to the goals earlier.

You can benefit in all three cases:

• You can rate the probability of problems at the particular locations and do something to avoid the problems.
• The naysayers are most probable not alone with their fears - you can do something to make them feel more secure. This will attract even more people to your solutions.
• Envious people are a sign that you are aiming for valuable goals - working on them seems to be worth it also for others.

Sure, stubborn pessimism can be exaggerated and there is a time when you should prefer the presence of more positive people. But you are not sessile - you can move on.

Success with optimism AND pessimism

The problem: You want to be positive and optimist but you fear failure.
In the past some friends have seen me as a pessimist and I was convinced that a pessimistic view is more realistic than an optimistic view. When reading life hacking blogs it looks like successful people should avoid every form of pessimism and negative thinking people. Trying to surf on the wave of optimism and positive thinking you feel fears and worries about possible failure.

The reason: Missing union of positive and negative aspects.
You might have heard about or seen a lot of people failing in their attempts to achieve big success or even people that are successful in general had their very bad periods. You try to be positive and optimistic but somewhere in your mind you know of the dangers and risks and you fear that as soon as starting full of enthusiasm you rush and fall into the first trap.

The solution: Integrate positive and negative aspects into your success plan.
If you want to be a successful person you commit to set actions achieving it - you want to get things done. Acting means effects. And effects may be different from your expectations and desires. So there is the possibility of negative effects or failure as well as the possibility of success or positive results. This is a fact and is a neither positive or negative view. Everything is possible.

Without the possibility of positive results you wouldn't start working so having positive effects and results in mind as a goal and motivation for moving on is important.

Be positive when thinking of your goals:

• Trust in the possibility that the world can be improved.
  
  
• Trust in your power being able to contribute to a better world and happier yourself!
  
  
• Assume that all other creatures have the same desires of being happy and therefore will benefit from the positive things that you do.
  
  
• Trust in your ability to be able to learn everything necessary to achieve your goals.
  
  
• Be happy about the success already accomplished. So moving on is a chance to repeat the good feelings.
  

On the other hand be pessimistic in your concrete planning of your way to success:

• Get aware of everything that could go wrong to identify the biggest pitfalls and the highest risks. The benefit: You can do something to prevent from the risks with the heaviest impacts.
  
  
• Do not assume or hope for the help of others or in other words: Do not expect that others are doing their job accurately, attentive and carefully. Search for help and accept every helping hand but don't rely on it. The benefit: Being double attentive prevents from errors. Humans do fail (that does not mean they always fail) - double checking is precaution. Especially when you have a management job it is required that you ensure that everybody is doing well his part. When many work together then the probability that somebody fails at some part is quite high.
  

• Assume that you are not knowing important facts. So get aware of the holes in your knowledge. The benefit: More attention makes you watch out for additional knowledge which helps preventing from problems and increases your competence - knowledge is power!
  

You see that the pessimistic view of the future has several benefits helping you to rise the probability that you succeed. To protect yourself against the biggest troubles that may come out on your way to your goals is as important as working on the main goal to get the positive effects. The negative assumption should not exclude that you accept helping hands or be happy if a highly probable problem did not occur. Pessimism should just be your assurance against disillusion.

After you have imagined some worst case scenarios you can better rate your plan for the way to achieve your goal(s). You can evaluate different solutions/plans and choose the best way to success.

Regarding the Anxiety:
Take your fears and worries as a warning of possible traps and holes in your plan to success. Fears and Worries are warning signs to be attentive - not more! If you are aware of the risks and decide whether to do something to reduce the probability or accept the risk. If the remaining risks in your opinion are too high in relation to the possible positive results then you still do not need to drop your goal(s) completely. You can also search for an alternative way with less risks.

It is clear that some chance to big success also comes along with higher risks. Some people like it hot and want to take the risk. Others prefer the sure and easier way. It depends on your priorities, character and desires. It is simply your decision how much risk you want to take.

Remember that the slower way with a lot of small steps into the correct direction to meet your goals do often bring the better long-term results than the fast and big success.

Related posts: Positivity barricades, Focus on strengths, Being positive, When to criticize, Optimist meeting pessimist, Living your opportunities.

Direction over goals

A lot is talked about the importance of goals. And further people who don't reach their goals perhaps are treated either as losers. Not reaching a goal however is seen as something negative in most cases and therefore it happens that people either get fired when not reaching the goals that they were forced to set.

But when setting the goals in many cases problems are already programmed by

• focusing on the positive effects when the goal is achieved and not thinking of probable negative ones.
• setting a goal too high by not seeing the stones and traps on the way (which is not necessarily a fault but only the fact that you and maybe nobody else either have tried the way before).
• not calculating changes of the environment and the effects on your goals.

After goals have been set decisive people often do (nearly) everything to achieve their goals. But the path to a goal might be long and take several years. Some people after years still try to achieve goals although their costs turned out to be far more than the benefit.

You should be flexible. It is not bad in general to set goals but while on the way you should look around heading for slightly different destinations that - while on the way - may turn out to be more attractive or bring you around a big rock that lies on the straight path to your final goal. I am not talking about the many little goals that you set to motivate yourself on the way, I am talking about the big "final" goals.

For me personally when looking for possible goals I find a lot of uncertain properties or only vague benefits that might come along with the reached goal or not. The real feeling and benefit for you personally after climbing on a mountain top cannot be exactly determined before you have been there. Maybe once there, you discover that the efforts were not worth it. Or better:

How much required effort is still ok for reaching a goal with uncertain benefit?

Well, while on a path that you never walked before you should continuously check the situation. While on the path you collect experience and therefore get more know-how about the area you are walking on. This also improves your ability to set realistic and appropriate goals.

In project management the goals are sometimes seen as a "moving target". So during a long term project according to a lot of possible changes in environment, side effects and desires you should review your goals and change them if adequate. So I would say goals are not only a moving target they are also a "changing target". But is a target that continously changes really a target?

I do prefer to set a direction rather than a goal. While walking I can change my direction at any time without trying to find long definitions on my final provable goal.

A direction is more important than a goal.

Related post: Focus by decision, Principles over rules, The main purpose, Living your opportunities, The golden rule, Replace constraint with freedom, Considerations on decisions.

Get organized your refrigerator

The problem: Old food in the refrigerator gets mold.
It happens that some food gets hidden behind newer things and only when the refrigerator gets quite empty by accident these things appear again.

The reason: It is easier and faster to put new things in front of the things that are already there.
When coming home in the evening with a lot of bags full of content to be stored in the refrigerator you probably want to quickly put everything away. Everything is stuffed in the refrigerator quickly to get you bags empty and move on to the next action. Along with this older food slightly shift to the back. Getting older the family members focus on the newer things before needing to examine the older food in detail if still good. And so older things get older and finally begin to mold. Then either a long time can pass until found and thrown away.

The solution: Always fill your refrigerator using a system.
I do organize the refrigerator in the way that I can use the items in the same way as reading a book: I use items from top down and from left to right. So I put new items on the right or below. Where possible I leave a little space to fill newer items behind older ones (especially for yoghurt). Exceptions are only vegetables that usually go down into the vegetable drawer.

Like what is need to be done

The problem: It happens that there are things to be done but you don't like to do them.
If this happens often in your job than you should consider the following:

1. Are these things part of my job (description)? - If not, why are you considered to do these things?
2. Are these things a general part of the business branch I am working in? - Or is it only the particular company you are currently working at?
   
3. Do I still like to work in this business branch in general?
   

The reason: Missing flexibility or missing knowledge of the branch you are working in.
ad 1.: If you face work that is not part of your main or defined job then take into consideration that there are two possibilities: Either the company size does not allow to see your job in such a narrow view or you are really making a step out of your kernel work. In case you are stepping out of your job bounds then consider that it is not necessarily a bad sign as your role in the company might slightly change.
ad 2.: If you are facing work that somehow belongs to your job and you don't like that parts but they come along with the business you are working in then you probably have a general motivation problem or you are not flexible enough to adapt your way of working to the need of what to be done in this branch.
ad 3.: If you don't like your job any more but motivated in general to do something of need and worth then you should consider a bigger change of your job.

The solution: Find the proper job and accept the side effects it brings
Finding the proper job is not done only once in a lifetime. It is a continuous operation. As world changes continuously people and companies have to adapt all the time. So you should be flexible in your job. But you are changing also. According to change of things it might happen that you and your job do not fit together completely any more. In that case you should consider finding a different job. When considering a job change then you should think of the properties that the branch your are working in brings along. If you want to stay in your branch - or don't have a lot of other choices (yet) then you should accept the side effects of your work. There is nothing good without negative side effects and nothing bad without positive side effects.

In the case you do not feel (yet) that you cannot manage bigger changes although you are not satisfied with your current work then get aware of the fact that there are things at your work that are important to others and someone should do these things. Somebody should keep the electrical power plants working, somebody should keep the trains going, somebody should take care that food gets delivered to the people, ... - be glad about your possibilities to contribute to the community.

Personal hygiene

The problem: Transmission of diseases.

The reason: Too less hygiene.
There are the following ways how diseases are transmitted:

• Drinking contaminated water.
  
• Eating contaminated food.
• Breathing contaminated air (max. approx. 3 m distance from contaminated person).
  
• Touching contaminated surface.
• Through contaminated body fluids (saliva, blood, ...).

The solution: Adequate personal hygiene
There are several quite easy methods to reduce the transmition of bacteria and viruses:

• Wash your hands.
• Wash your food.
• Avoid public transports at rush hour especially in the seasons of flu.
• Avoid giving hands.
  
• Wear gloves when working in places with higher risk of contaminations.

Unfortunately I do recognize that a lot of people don't wash their hands after been on the toilet. By not washing their hands they distribute bacteria either through all the door handles they touch and when giving their hands for greeting. A minimum hygiene that everybody should do automatically.

New year...

...does not start on first of January - no, new year starts when you are beginning to plan it!

In my case it was around end of November if I remember right. So when you want to schedule new year resolutions you are maybe good starting before the 31. December. Remember that the effects of your activities turn out later - the fruits of hard work are sometimes reaped a lot later. So if you scheduled new year resolutions don't get discouraged too early.

But what I am facing now: The effects of my plans for the new year from November already begin to show effect - I already think that I have planned too much for the new year. ;-)

About habits

The problem: Unwanted habits are to be changed which often turns out to be a very long and stony way.
As the new year is coming near at a lot of places I read about new years resolutions and habit changes. I don't want to write about new years resolutions because (not only) in my opinion changes are not only to be performed when the year in the date changes. There are a lot of opportunities and as it usually takes a long time and mostly also several attempts to change a habit it is not clever to limit personal improvement to happen only once in a year.

Reading lifehack and other blogs you can read several hints on how to change habits and for example you can read that it takes approximately a month to change a habit. I found several very useful posts out there but while collecting them I recognized that I very seldom thought of changing a particular habit. So I began to think why.

The reason: Habits are often only the visible side effects of the philosophies you are living.
You do live habits not because they happened to you as an accident. You live them because of "good" reasons according to your life experiences - or shocks respectively. As I wrote in "Find the root problem" several different personal (development) problems often have some common "parent problem". And so in my opinion a habit is just a leaf at the tree of problems.

The solution: Change your way of thinking and your philosophy.
First identify the reasons why you are running into the same habits again and again. The reason is usually not just a trigger, but your view of the world and the way you are interpreting your experiences with people and several event types occurring in your life. Reflecting your view of the world and the philosophies your are living and changing the general intentions will remove a lot of unwanted habits automatically, at once and without further big effort - and that is the advantage of grabbing problems at the root.

To give an example: There might be several reasons why you may not be able to communicate with people you do not know well. There might be several fears that prevent you from speaking free out what you want. There might be the fear of making a bad first impression or the fear of getting hurt by sarcastic responses. A root problem perhaps is a big dependency of foreign affirmation. There can be a lot of such discouragements that prevent you from starting a communication. Liberating yourself from this dependency can resolve communication problems automatically because you withdraw the culture medium of the problems arising because of such a basic dependency or fear.

Related post: Primary motivator.

The things in your jacket

Ever returned because you forgot your wallet, your mobile phone, tissues - or perhaps either the keys because they were just in the other jacket? - To me this happened often.

I used to use the same jacket the whole week and then when by accident or because of a little temperature change I changed the jacket and then I was not used to check all pockets and move the things to the other jacket.

What I did to solve this issue: I changed the jacket every day for a week or so and so I got used to check the pockets every day. No it got a new habit for me to check all things if they are in their pockets. A few hints regarding all those little things you have to carry with you:

• When buying a jacket try out loading it with all the things you need to carry with you so you are sure you get a good, practical jacket.
  
• In each jacket each thing should have its fixed pocket. Newer jackets for example all have a separate pocket dedicated for the mobile phone. I have a jacket where the pockets are either labeled with a picture for mobile phone, wallet, glasses and so on.
• Learn all the things by heart that you have to carry with you.
• Have a place outside jackets for all your things. Maybe a drawer or so where you can put all the things for example when you unload a jacket completely before loading another.