Being like a child

In personal development blogs I read a lot about being like a child increases creativity and happiness for example. I have also seen people having serious psychological problems when growing up and facing an increasing amount of worries.

Indeed, when remembering childhood I can recall fewer worries than later on when in a relationship, in business world or after starting a family. But the point is that there were not less reasons to worry when I was a child. I was just not aware of them! - I could have worried about my future job, if I would earn enough money to keep my family fed and so on. Growing up I got aware of more and more things that can go wrong, more and more important decisions that could be life changing.

Returning to be like a child for me in some way would seem like just fading out most of the worries I am now aware of. And in fact some people when facing themselves in the middle of job, family and future worries, get into midlife crisis or just put their had in the sand (or their nose into the alcohol or whatever).

The blogs or people recommending to return being a child do mean particular properties that children usually have, such as curiosity, being themselves (what they say and do fits together), worry less etc. - But I think that you can't tear these things out of context. You usually can't do something experiencing just the positive and not the negative aspects that come with your decision. For example: With the comfort of going by car you have to refuel it which costs money. Or a more related example: "The all done status" - I am usually the more happy the more I feel that I have the impression that all my duty has been done. I had that impression much more often in childhood than nowadays. But in reality there were a lot more things uncertain and not finished in those times. I just did not know. I could have said that it is just not the right time for more - but I could have done more to be well prepared for life. And what holds me from saying that now - "it is not the right time for more"?

They say, the wise people are again more like a child. I think the key does not lie in the intention to return to childhood. I think the key lies in mastering the uncertainty and worries by surpassing a certain level of wisdom. Others will then notice a light heartedness known from childhood but the background of such wise people must be completely different.

Sometimes an effect cannot be reached by just focusing on the desired effect, because the effect is created in a totally different way. As a sample I think it is very hard to achieve lasting happiness without knowing what real suffering is.

Related posts: All done status, How to be happy, Highly happy people, There is suffering.


Jarrod - Warrior Development said...

I really liked the last bold point, it truly is something not laid out often enough.

It is similar to Budo (japanese martial arts) which are 'designed' to make better people. Looking at the practices externally it just looks like people trying to kill each other. But it is not until you have been through the process that you start to understand all the elements that actually shape people.

This was a really good down to earth post, I stumbled it for you :)

Martin Wildam said...

It is similar to what is said about ZEN-Buddhism: Before a tree is a tree. When you start practicing then a tree is not a tree any more, but leaves, trunk, water etc etc. At the end a tree is a tree. But something happened and you feel not the same as in the beginning.